(I’ve just edited bits and pieces of what I typed in the previous post to correct some very glaring grammatical errors. There probably are still some errors here and there but I guess that is the best I can do.)
So really, what is the next step? I’ve been honest to myself. I am going through a problem. A problem that I probably was genetically programmed to experience in this life of mine possibly around when I grow to this age or older. And it is definitely a illness that has lasted for quite a while and got better and worsened, then got better again and it just goes on. I hoped for a long duration before a relapse but…
It is also an illness that not many would understand. And of those who don’t understand, it is not because they are ignorant. They could have known the facts, but perhaps that isn’t enough. Going through the process is key to “get it”. But no one can really just put themselves in to “it”, can they? It doesn’t seem to be like a situation that you can just say, “Hey I think I would want to be depressed, for a day.” Even the sentence sounds funny. Funny because of how loosely the word “depressed” is being used. Because isn’t it just so often you hear people telling you that they feel so “depressed” because of something that they in actuality, just felt unhappy about?
But not being able to understand didn’t stop people from being understanding of course. Which I know I’m most grateful for. So many of my friends do not care if they could never “get it” and they didn’t judge me at any point of time.
This is the greatest thing someone could do to make me feel better.
So right now I’m just constantly repeating to myself that I can handle it and not to lose hope no matter what. It seems like a pretty right thing to do for now.
Setting my mindset to something is better than not doing anything I suppose. So I’m going to keep moving in this direction.